How to

1. Irritate Mildred Chan: Start speaking in the super dee duper cheena accent. She loves it so much it makes her squirm in her skin. She's so blessed that me and Mel Chan and do it pretty well. But of course, the pro is the Jonathan.

2. Kill Ants: Take a roll of scotchtape and stick them to it. If you're feeling happy, just let me die of hunger. If you're feeling irritable, help them split their bodies into 2 parts.

3. Make Rachel Wong laugh: Just say the word "Obama" (Inside joke)

4. Look clever in public transport: Whip up a copy of The Economist and nod in agreement at every paragraph.